1. We have one dog of our own and we also foster a dog. That equals TWO dogs.
2. The dogs sometimes annoy me. One dog is OK, two dogs raise my blood pressure by about 200% sometimes.
3. One of the dogs is a puppy.
4. Kim loves the dogs.
So lately I have been hearing a lot of “You better get used to it, kids are the same way!” (referring to the dogs making a mess) or “How are you going to handle a kid if you can’t handle two dogs?” Who have I been hearing this from, you ask. Some chick; let’s call her Mim Karelas (Ignore the weird name, she is Scandinavian). I contend that kids ARE NOT like dogs in many ways. I am 95% sure I can handle a baby without as much headache as a dog and with greater reward. I therefore have come up with a top ten list why kids ARE NOT like dogs.
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10. Kids don’t bark at other kids until you tell them to shut up.
9. Dogs won’t be able to help with household chores at the age of 13 months…. That’s old enough to handle bleach right?
9. Dogs won’t be able to help with household chores at the age of 13 months…. That’s old enough to handle bleach right?
8. Kids can’t live off of dog food. No, I didn’t test this. I just assume.
7. Babies cannot effectively guard your house from intruders. Yes, I did try this. Surprisingly the intruder merely stepped over the baby, stole my satellite radio, and yelled up that I was a
monster for doing that to a kid. Yeah, well I had to listen to REGULAR radio for 3 days…who
is the real monster?
6. Dogs don’t seem to like riding on the top of push lawnmowers.
5. Kids don’t sniff/ lick their own butts. Though I would think they would if they could.
4. Kids draw unwanted attention when you put them in the yard with shock collars.
3. Kids don’t need as many baths as dogs.
2. Dogs can’t bring home hot friends once they are in college
1. You can’t put kids to sleep for chewing on your favorite recliner… JUST KIDDING… you can in Bolivia.
6. Dogs don’t seem to like riding on the top of push lawnmowers.
5. Kids don’t sniff/ lick their own butts. Though I would think they would if they could.
4. Kids draw unwanted attention when you put them in the yard with shock collars.
3. Kids don’t need as many baths as dogs.
2. Dogs can’t bring home hot friends once they are in college
1. You can’t put kids to sleep for chewing on your favorite recliner… JUST KIDDING… you can in Bolivia.
2 comments:
Why babies/kids ARE like dogs/puppies
They both pee and poop on you and your stuff (they both need to be house trained)
Crawling babies eat anything they can get their mouths on.
Babies eat anything they can pick up but not what you feed them.
Babies and puppies are cute (until they grow up)
Pediatrician bills are every bit as expensive as veterinarian bills.
People put stupid outfits on babies and dogs.
Babies and puppies cry (whine) all night long.
Babies and dogs need to go for walks.
Babies learning to crawl/walk destroy stuff (by accident, just like dog tails)
Mommy & Daddy cannot go anywhere without making baby-sitting or dog sitting (so much for spontaneity).
Neither puppies nor babies like to sit still for getting their hair (fur) brushed.
Babies and puppies love you unconditionally just because you're you.
As for that last point ... unconditionally until they're old to realize that their parents are a couple of old farts who don't know what it means to be young and will never understand so why bother. I think you're better off with the puppy. Even when a puppy is 12, he'll still be happy with a belly rub. Try doing that to your 12-year-old kid.
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