It’s Monday and the dollar signs seem to be ever- mounting with this supposed “baby” in Kim’s tummy so today you get a short rant:
Cherry finished cribs, memory foam changing pads, super padded car seats (I’m sorry, “carriers/ car seats”), durable yet lightweight all terrain strollers with optional mud flaps? Didn’t babies used to be born in caves? Perhaps our baby would be happy with a mossy thatch on the floor with the occasional rock to play with right? No, Capitalism forces every Tom, Rick and Lavar to come up with the newest, most innovative, and “safest” gadget that your baby absolutely needs or it will most certainly die.
Socialist babies, that’s my new thing. Every baby should get food, some sort of crude bed, and potato sack clothes until they turn 5. At that age they either join the workforce or they are on their own. No more of this Baby Bjorn, carry me everywhere either. The baby walks, rolls, or scoots or it is getting kicked down the street like a can. Ok ok… I will carry it for 3 blocks, but that’s all the handouts it gets. Contribute to society like I do. I love you baby.
Cherry finished cribs, memory foam changing pads, super padded car seats (I’m sorry, “carriers/ car seats”), durable yet lightweight all terrain strollers with optional mud flaps? Didn’t babies used to be born in caves? Perhaps our baby would be happy with a mossy thatch on the floor with the occasional rock to play with right? No, Capitalism forces every Tom, Rick and Lavar to come up with the newest, most innovative, and “safest” gadget that your baby absolutely needs or it will most certainly die.
Socialist babies, that’s my new thing. Every baby should get food, some sort of crude bed, and potato sack clothes until they turn 5. At that age they either join the workforce or they are on their own. No more of this Baby Bjorn, carry me everywhere either. The baby walks, rolls, or scoots or it is getting kicked down the street like a can. Ok ok… I will carry it for 3 blocks, but that’s all the handouts it gets. Contribute to society like I do. I love you baby.
4 comments:
I had wooden blocks growing up. They were made of wood. They weren't painted fancy colors. I played with them for HOURS and I got to use this really cool thing called "my imagination." I'm just sayin'
And look how you turned out...I'm just saying:) Seriously though, there is this whole line of really basic products by Melissa and Doug that are perfect. Of course, they aren't commercial enough to be on Babies R Us. So if anyone wants to break the mold, we welcome those as baby gifts!
Welcome to life with baby. It is expensive and this is only the beginning. No more toys for mom and dad; lots of toys for baby. There is an upside. When you come home from an exhausting day at work and you see that little face light up because mom or dad just arrived well, that is all that matters. You'll see!!
And when you come home from that long day and see that little face spit up, that's all you're gonna be doing for the rest of the night.
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