Baby, You're a Rich Man

It’s Monday and the dollar signs seem to be ever- mounting with this supposed “baby” in Kim’s tummy so today you get a short rant:

Cherry finished cribs, memory foam changing pads, super padded car seats (I’m sorry, “carriers/ car seats”), durable yet lightweight all terrain strollers with optional mud flaps? Didn’t babies used to be born in caves? Perhaps our baby would be happy with a mossy thatch on the floor with the occasional rock to play with right? No, Capitalism forces every Tom, Rick and Lavar to come up with the newest, most innovative, and “safest” gadget that your baby absolutely needs or it will most certainly die.

Socialist babies, that’s my new thing. Every baby should get food, some sort of crude bed, and potato sack clothes until they turn 5. At that age they either join the workforce or they are on their own. No more of this Baby Bjorn, carry me everywhere either. The baby walks, rolls, or scoots or it is getting kicked down the street like a can. Ok ok… I will carry it for 3 blocks, but that’s all the handouts it gets. Contribute to society like I do. I love you baby.

Ooo Baby Baby It's a Wild World

Here are a couple of notes to help you understand this post better:

1. We have one dog of our own and we also foster a dog. That equals TWO dogs.
2. The dogs sometimes annoy me. One dog is OK, two dogs raise my blood pressure by about 200% sometimes.
3. One of the dogs is a puppy.
4. Kim loves the dogs.

So lately I have been hearing a lot of “You better get used to it, kids are the same way!” (referring to the dogs making a mess) or “How are you going to handle a kid if you can’t handle two dogs?” Who have I been hearing this from, you ask. Some chick; let’s call her Mim Karelas (Ignore the weird name, she is Scandinavian). I contend that kids ARE NOT like dogs in many ways. I am 95% sure I can handle a baby without as much headache as a dog and with greater reward. I therefore have come up with a top ten list why kids ARE NOT like dogs.

VS

10. Kids don’t bark at other kids until you tell them to shut up.

9. Dogs won’t be able to help with household chores at the age of 13 months…. That’s old enough to handle bleach right?

8. Kids can’t live off of dog food. No, I didn’t test this. I just assume.

7. Babies cannot effectively guard your house from intruders. Yes, I did try this. Surprisingly the intruder merely stepped over the baby, stole my satellite radio, and yelled up that I was a

monster for doing that to a kid. Yeah, well I had to listen to REGULAR radio for 3 days…who

is the real monster?

6. Dogs don’t seem to like riding on the top of push lawnmowers.

5. Kids don’t sniff/ lick their own butts. Though I would think they would if they could.

4. Kids draw unwanted attention when you put them in the yard with shock collars.

3. Kids don’t need as many baths as dogs.

2. Dogs can’t bring home hot friends once they are in college

1. You can’t put kids to sleep for chewing on your favorite recliner… JUST KIDDING… you can in Bolivia.

American Baby

This post goes out to my mom, who threatened to keep posting random comments unless we updated the page more often. So here goes. 

Nick and I explored a quality furniture store last night and spent 90 minutes there. We were the only ones in the place, so the owner personally escorted us around to show us different cribs and room combinations and gave us her thoughts on quality, etc. Something you definitely don't find at Babies R Us or anywhere in D.C. that I can think of. So I guess this area does have its benefits.

Anyway, we still have to narrow down our choices. But it's nice to know there is some decent nursery furniture still being made. Hard to tell from these photos how these will look in our house, but let us know if you have any thoughts. We're leaning toward a medium finish like cherry or chestnut regardless of which set we select. And most likely we will do a crib, medium dresser with changing table top, and maybe two narrow bookcases.