Baby Got Back

Well, the ultrasound is over and all we know is that I am not growing a donkey in my tummy. A mermaid maybe; donkey no. So my apologies to those of you who voted that way.

Turns out little Baby G. is quite modest. Even as I was sprawled half-naked on the table with a goop-wielding technician way too close to me, our baby kept its legs tightly closed. No peaking allowed. Seriously, the kid was doing summersaults and punching like mad, but the legs were side-by-side and pulled into the abs in perfect tuck formation (see the left side of the profile photo for proof). So, for now, we are sticking with neutrals. And hoping that our baby may be an Olympic-level gymnast. They make the big bucks, right?

Otherwise, our two doctor’s appointments were great. I got my tummy measured vertically for the first time, which I’m not sure I’m crazy about. I am 20 centimeters at 20 weeks, which the midwife said is “perfect.” Nick later referred to this measurement as 20 centimeters at 20 months. That’s a long time to carry a mer-baby around.

We saw lots of fingers and toes on the ultrasound. At one point, the baby put his/her/its fist close to the head so it looked like he/she/it was possibly sucking a thumb. Too cute. The technician also zoomed in to show us the baby opening and closing its mouth. Looked a lot like Pac Man or a turtle, depending on which of us you ask.

The next step is to actually feel the baby moving. It is clearly quite active, but I either have too much blubber or too much gas to sense it yet. Hopefully I will get kicked around from the inside soon and be able to start complaining about that. I need to milk this pregnancy somehow. This baby is taking it way too easy on me so far. I’m sure it will make up for it during labor and for years to come after that.

Since I am the experienced blogger of the family, I will keep this post nice and short. Please keep the comments coming though. We need you guys to feed us material. Otherwise, I will let Nick loose again. Wait, who am I kidding? I know people only tune in to see what that crazy kid will do next. I know you can’t wait for another post involving bananas.

Nick’s Two Cents: Hey Party Peoples, I know you are enjoying Kim’s Pulitzer prize writing, (her jokes are very Family Circle-esque) but I have to explain the ultrasound pic. It is a side view of the baby with a couple of weird additions the technician couldn’t fully explain: #1 Rockin Red Mohawk #2 Nintendo Power Glove, which the baby must have bought off EBay because I don’t think they make them anymore. #3 Hannah Montana Backpack. EVERY kid seems to want one regardless of gender. I have one myself for work, and I can’t wait for the concert!!!

Ooooo Baby I Love Your Way... Everyday

Watch out kiddos, you are about to be Rick Rolled. Those of you who don’t know what I am talking about are probably over 35 and should take a class on Rick Rolling. But on another note, everything is fine with us and the baby. Nothing really new to report, though Kim’s fingers do sometimes go numb. Her book says this is normal for highly intellectual individuals or freaks. Not sure which category she falls into, but your guess is as good as mine. We find out the sex (hopefully) of the baby this Tuesday, which, depending on when you are reading this, could be in the future, or in the past. Or, if your flux capacitor is working correctly then it could be BOTH. Trippy? Yes. Out of the ordinary? No. Anyway, back to baby. I (Nick) am working up my courage to make it through the ultra sound appointment because I get woozy at anything medical lately for some reason. Why you ask? I have no idea, but it happens. I have yet to pass out, but if I were a betting frog, I would place my bet on me fainting before this show is over.

We are starting to receive a lot of baby gifts, which is very nice of people. The only problem is we are getting some weird gifts for the baby. Clothes, books and toys are all normal, but a carabiner the size of a small dog? What man can even use that, let alone a baby? And an emergency underwater auto tool? Why? But the weirdest one was the banana. I am pretty sure that is going to be mush be the time the baby pops out. But who knows? Maybe it is a magic banana. I heard they are all the rage.

So, that is that, and that is all. We will keep you posted on what the doctors think the baby is, but I am pretty sure we will have a little Al Gore. Kim will make sure of that. Oh, and Nick cut his hair. It is short again like it used to be. Kim hated it long, though I know some of you liked the long ’do, and I appreciate all your support in this trying time. The good thing is it can always be grown out again, but for now it is like Frosty the Snow Man on a hot day, for Frosty the snow man had to hurry on his way, but he waved goodbye saying, "Don't you cry, I'll be back again some day." Till next time blog junkies, keep on Rick Rollin.